


(in between) all the lines that we never made

by dizzy



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, asexual!Darren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 10:52:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3444428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy





	(in between) all the lines that we never made

Chris spends the first three months that Darren's on Glee trying desperately to figure out if Darren is straight or not.

  
The very first day they meet, Darren takes him out on what is essentially a date. It's even a pretty good date, the best first date Chris has ever had. They see a show that they both love, they sing their favorite songs from the concert in the car afterward, they get dinner and talk long past the time when the waiters are giving them a side-eye, wanting to the table free. 

But Chris knows to be cautious. He's only been in Hollywood barely a year and a half, but it's been plenty of time to be burned by crushes on castmates that just don't have it in them to return the affections and ones that do but just don't want it to be anything more. 

Chris doesn't want just easy sex. He's ready for a relationship, he thinks. He's almost twenty years old, after all, and isn't that time to start figuring this stuff out for real? He thinks it is. But slowly, with care, because on top of his own ego to be nursed he has to worry about what it would mean for his character and their jobs. 

So he waits patiently, and he observes Darren's behavior. 

He sees Darren flirt with the women - he sees Darren smile prettily at Lea and give Jenna lingering hugs and he hears about Darren taking Dianna out to dinner and he thinks, oh, yes, there's the answer. 

Then he sees Darren flirt with the men, he hears the laughter between Darren and Chord where they're sitting across the room with heads bent low in conversation, he sees Darren with a hand resting on Zach's arm so casually, and he thinks, oh, well, maybe some answers just have layers to them. 

So he starts to flirt with Darren and Darren flirts back and Chris thinks it's all going along brilliantly until one day he wakes with a smack of recognition that Darren flirting with him doesn't actually mean anything, since Darren does also flirt with the women and he does also flirt with the men. 

And then Chris spends a month angry at Darren, feeling mislead. He rants and whines to his best friend about a nameless boy he's head over heels for, and she pretends to not know exactly who he's talking about even though she obviously does. He gives Darren the cold shoulder on set and does his best to ignore the puppy dog looks that Darren sends after him. 

But Darren has charisma and charm in spades. He exudes a warmth and inner light and Chris can't hold up against it forever. His ice cold front begins to melt, and by the time he has Darren's mouth on his for the very first time they're back to as good as they ever were. 

*

That first kiss is just for the camera, of course. Chris isn't naive enough to read more into that. 

He is maybe naive enough to think that the kissing being so good might mean something promising, though. Chris wasn't the only one affected, not by any means. Darren was flying just as high.

So he circles back around to all those maybes and what if's that he'd abandoned before. He just can't shake the feeling that maybe there's something there to be explored. 

*

Darren knocks on an already half open door. 

"Come in," Chris shouts. He is bent over the couch in his trailer, digging through his bag. He knows his laptop charger is in here somewhere, and if it's not he will be in a rage because that'll mean he has to go straight home when what he really wanted to do was find a quiet place and write for a while. "Yeah?" 

"Hey, so." Darren walks in and shuts the door behind him. 

He's half Blaine and half himself, Warbler slacks and warbler-button up, tie undone and loose around his neck, but hair all curls broken free of their gel oppressor. His hands are jammed in his pocket and he looks almost, ever so slightly - nervous? 

"Yeah?" Chris asks, turning to address Darren more directly. 

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out some time." Darren gives him a sheepish, hopeful smile. 

"With you?" 

"With me." 

"On a..." 

"Date," Darren supplies. 

"Like a _date_ -date?" 

"Um. Yes?" Darren laughs. "I'm not sure of any other kind." 

"As opposed to a _friend_ -date." Chris wants to be very, very clear. 

"Oh! Well, I mean, if a friend date is what you want to go on, then I'm game. But yeah, I meant a _date_ -date." Darren nods. "So?" 

Chris smiles. "So I say yes." 

*

Their first actual, real _date_ date goes amazingly well. 

They have dinner at a place where Darren has reservations and afterward Darren tells him to get into the car and don't ask questions, because the second location is a surprise. 

"Not another concert?" Chris asks. "Or a show?" 

"Pssht." Darren takes a hand off the wheel to wave it dismissively. "That would be predictable. And I am not predictable, Chris Colfer. I am anything but." 

Chris turns his head to look at Darren, smiling at his profile. "Oh, you're certainly not that." 

Twenty minutes of weaving traffic later and they're pulling up to a downtown street corner that Chris is relatively certain he's never been to before. 

"What is this?" Chris asks, but Darren shakes his head. "Oh, right, surprise?" 

"Surprise." Darren nods. 

The surprise is a bookstore. Chris is willing to give Darren some credit for picking a place Chris would like, but he's still not entirely sure why. But Darren reaches down and grabs his hand firmly, guiding him through the stacks on the first floor to a staircase that leads them up to... 

"Wow," Chris says, looking around. 

"You like it?" Darren asks eagerly, looking so proud of himself. "Someone told me about it, and I thought of you - and I've been trying to figure out where I'd take you if you said yes, so..." 

"It's perfect." Chris smiles at Darren, then leans in and impulsively kisses his cheek. Darren's five o'clock shadow is scratchy under his lips and just the hint of that intimacy sends a flush through Chris. 

"Come on. This room over here is supposed to be badass," Darren says, squeezing Chris's fingers where their hands are still clasped. 

They spend the next hour and a half exploring the labyrinth that is the bookstore's second story, then find their dessert in the form of ice cream on the meandering walk back to Darren's car. 

*

For their second date, Chris takes Darren to a Saturday open market with a karaoke stage. They eat freshly made fruit crepes from a food truck and Darren dazzles the crowd with a few numbers, even convincing Chris to join in on one. 

Chris is sure in another few weeks, once that kiss scene airs, they won't be able to get away with this in public anymore. He'll just have to enjoy it now for what it is, and deal with the impact what comes next will have on them when it gets here. 

* 

Chris feels like this relationship thing... he feels like it's working out pretty well. 

They've had half a dozen perfect dates, and at least that many nights where they don't go out anywhere at all. 

The first time they're hanging out and Darren asks if he can borrow some sweats to change into, Chris feels like maybe he's in love. He's never had a boyfriend he hit this level of comfort with so quickly. He's never felt so at least just being himself around someone that wasn't family. 

But Darren inspires that in him. Darren puts him at ease, whether they're at a glitzy Hollywood bash sipping cocktails or whether Darren is wearing Chris's favorite pair of Ravenclaw pajama pants and his own UMich t-shirt. 

The only thing that isn't happening is sex. Darren's even slept over a few times, and nothing. It doesn't seem strange to Chris to begin with, because most of the time when they want to be together but don't want to go out it's because they've had a hellish day of filming. Sometimes just crawling into a comfortable bed after that long on set is a level of bliss that an orgasm can't even come close to. 

But... Chris wouldn't mind the orgasms, too. He hasn’t had a ton of sex in his life, but he’s liked what he’s had and thoughts of what it would be like with Darren driving him crazy on the nights they aren’t together.

Darren just doesn’t show any signs of wanting more out of this, with him. His first reaction is to wonder if it's him. Is Darren not attracted to him? They kiss. They're pretty fucking good at kissing, Chris thinks, but it just never goes on past that in the ways Chris would expect. 

Everything else is just so good, though - and Chris isn't willing to risk it by bringing that up. 

*

The first night he tries to subtly slide a hand down to Darren's zipper and Darren catches his hand by the wrist, 

"Hey, um." Darren sits up. His hair is mussed and his lips are swollen. "We should probably talk about something." 

"Are you breaking up with me?" Chris blurts out. 

"No," Darren says, voice firm. "I'm not. But if you decide you want to break up with me…." 

"Okay, I don't do good with drawn out-" 

"I’m asexual," Darren says. 

"Oh." Chris can feel the confusion on his own face, even more intensely because of how Darren is staring at him. “What does that mean? I mean, no, I know what it means, but what does that mean for - us? Dating?” 

“Well, I don’t know. That's kind of up to you, too, you know? It’s kind of like a case by case thing. If you just really need someone with a super high sex drive, I’m probably not your guy. Which would suck. In the non-sexual context. Which is kind of the point.” Darren snickers at his own joke, but when he looks over at Chris he sees the same faintly perplexed expression. “I’m not… taking this lightly. I like you a lot. I just know that I can’t really change other people, and other people can’t change me. It’s not an attraction thing. I’m plenty attracted to you, okay? Attraction just means something different for me than it does for most other people. If us not meshing like that is a big deal for you, then I want that on the table right up front.” 

“What if I don’t know?” Chris asks. “I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want sex, I just don’t know… I have no grounds for comparison.” 

“Then that’s cool, too,” Darren says. “If you want to try?” 

Chris doesn't even hesitate. "I want to try." 

He only realizes how well Darren had been masking the tension when Darren lets it go. "For real?" He says, like he just needs to check. 

"Really," Chris says. "You are... this, you and me, it's the best relationship I've ever been in. You make me feel... like no one else has before, and I realize how cheesy that is-" 

"Not cheesy." Darren's voice is full of quiet intensity. "It's amazing. You're amazing." 

"What are you comfortable with?" Chris asks. "What kind of - intimacy?" 

"I like making out. I like kissing. That feels close to you. I like making you feel good, too. That's just like... it's not sexual, it's just... people pleasing? But with the person I want to please the most." Darren waits, as if he's gauging Chris's reaction before he keeps going. "And I like sleeping beside you. I'm a cuddleslut, everyone I've dated has said so. I like sleeping naked, too, I was just reigning that in until we had this conversation." 

"Why did you wait?" Chris asks. "We've been dating a couple months now. I'm not upset, I'm just curious."  

"I know," Darren says. "And maybe I should have spoken up sooner, but I was kind of looking at it like... if this was a deal breaker, I wanted to make some good memories first." 

Chris grabs Darren's hand. "It's not." 

Darren grins. "Yeah, I am getting that impression." 

"So - kissing is good, cuddling is good, sleeping in the same bed… maybe naked… " Chris bites his lip. "You realize I'm going to have some reactions to that." 

Darren laughs. "Yeah, man, I get it. And I'm not like... opposed to... helping out there. But I meant it when I said it's a case by case basis. And for some people, they don't want it half way, some people get weirded out when I'm like yeah I'll totally jerk you off but no need to return the favor. Sometimes it ends up being a total boner-kill all around." 

"I can get how that'll be strange," Chris admits. 

"But that's also not the thing I think we can figure out with talking." Darren pulls Chris closer with a tug to the hand. "I get that you don't know where your lines are with this, and you also don't know where my lines are." 

"So we just - keep checking in with each other?" Chris asks. "And make it up as we go?" 

Darren nods. Neither of them can look away from the other, and it feels as natural as breathing when they lean in for a kiss. 

*

Chris wakes up the next morning with Darren wrapped around him, drooling slightly into Darren's hair. 

He grunts and rolls over, needing a little bit of breathing room. 

"Morning?" Darren mumbles, smushing his face into the pillow. 

Chris smiles, and then looks over at Darren. He leans over and kisses that warm, smooth skin between Darren's shoulder blades. "I'll make breakfast." 

Darren surfaces from his half-sleeping stupor to grin at that. "Best boyfriend..." He says, then promptly falls right back asleep. 

"Well," Chris whispers, standing in the doorway and looking back at him. "I'm going to try." 


End file.
